Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away.
“Jonny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him.
“I don’t have to.” – the little boy replied.
“Of course you do.” – his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house,” Johnny explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”
Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?
What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?
What's hoppin'?
Hahaha...
Kiss you at last month's Christmas party - joke
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's
Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.
Secretary: My lawyer.
Vampire bats - Joke
Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.
The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."
The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."
The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."
The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."
The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."
The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."
The atheist - Joke
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.
As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him.
He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped.
The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him.
He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped.
The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
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